The Bombers dominated the first five minutes but from then on it was all the Crows. The only twist in the game was the one that afflicted Jonathon Griffin’s ankle.
It was a night for quick kicks out of the middle of packs. Thompson was the specialist - he must have slammed a dozen loose balls onto his boot; nearly always they landed to the Crows’ advantage.
It was also a night for the Crows’ young talent to apply the knife, which they did with an enthusiastic disregard for anyone’s health and welfare, particularly their own. Jaensch took a big hit as the thrashing patient went under, and so did Vince. Sloane was nearly mopped up after a hospital pass on the wing.
But there were steady hands, too. Davis made a magnificent nine one-percenters, mostly spoils in aerial contests. Van Berlo played his best game of the year, with 13 contested possessions and a hell of a lot of running. The Porp also found form, especially in the first half. His attack on the ball was fierce and his hands were as clean as a surgeon’s.
I won’t say it was all done according to the Hippocratic Oath. The Crows disembowelled the patient with interceptions. Early in the first quarter Jaensch marked a Bomber pass, handed it to Vince, whose long kick was taken off hands by Walker for a slashing six-pointer.
Essendon needed a blood transfusion in the second quarter when Tippett threaded one through after another interception, this time by Symes. But it was Henderson’s flying cut-off and goal in the second quarter that ripped out the patient’s liver.
For the most part Essendon was a good subject, playing as if anaesthetised. A few in the red and black started to wake up in the third quarter but good work by Dr Danger at the 26 minute mark - when he jabbed through his third goal - knocked them out again.
Unlike in most operations, the welfare of the patient was not of much concern. The Crows’ students used the game to practice their scalpel-wielding techniques, and Dangerfield’s fourth goal - a brilliant aortic burst from the centre - was an exquisite example of what they have learned.
Essendon is not expected to make a full recovery.
